oh, just some musings on baby life

you probably reeeeally wouldn’t know it right now, but i’ve always been a restless person by nature. in my younger years, i always had this need [that drove me crazy] to be out doing SOMETHING somewhere with someone, or at least know what was going on and if i was missing out on something and oh. if i was… i mean, the fomo was so major.

all that to say… i always knew for sure that i wanted to be a mom eventually! it wasn’t ever a question… but even as i got older, i just didn’t anticipate enjoying the slower phase of baby life so so much. i remember telling steven after we were married a few years that i felt like i’d never be ready for babies because then i’d just feel “stuck.” he said he figured i’d just wear them in a little wrap and go right on with life! and that’s so funny to look back on. i think that’s pretty much what i’ve done to a certain extent. but. i worried about it a lot back then. i was terrified of being stuck.

to my surprise, however, when my sweet baby dreamgirl was born, it was completely the opposite! i wasn’t constantly lonely in my days [with steven at work and me just tryyyying to figure out my path] or restless for super extra fun cool night life anymore [although, i’m glad i had my fill of that while i did!]. i had the very best reason to stay home and snuggle, or a buddy for wherever it was i wanted to go. i was DELIGHTED to finally have more than myself to focus on. it gets old worrying about your own silly crap all of the time, and putting someone first who literally depended on me in every way was refreshing. it was such a nice change of pace for me!

for 7 years now i have loved every bit of it. the ups, the downs, i’ve realized i’m pretty cut out for it all. [maybe not the head staples. wasn’t quiiite ready for that!] luckily i’ve never needed a ton of sleep. 🙂 and each time my babies leave the actual baby phase behind… they get up on their own feet, eventually stop nursing… i start to get a liiiiittle bit restless again. the topic of future babies comes up, and i worry about jumping back into baby life after getting used to a faster pace… but each time it has surprised me!

i love baby life. babies bring such a pure, sweet joy to life that you just don’t have without a baby! all cries. all the laughs. all the firsts. all the squish! all the snuggles. it’s all so genuine and pure and real and delicious. even on the third baby, it’s still just as magical! babies bring a much needed, more innocent perspective back to adulthood, and it’s really something to cherish.

all this is with the knowledge, of course, that one day it will be long gone. i know one day all my babies will be big and busy and i’ll be begging steven to take me somewhere fancy with good wine. i know rambunctious playdates with mom friends will turn back into quiet little coffee dates. i know i’ll be up late worried when my kids are at sleepovers or out past curfew or when i’ve texted them but they haven’t responded. there’s not a day that goes by that i’m not subconsciously aware that these. are. the. days! they’re changing fast, but they’re still here… the days that our babies want OUR attention. the days that they want to dance for us and tell us silly stories. the days where “eyeball” is the funniest word ever. the days where they enjoy car rides and errand runs and exploring the toy aisles. the days of lollipops and veggie sticks and snack bowls and little helpers around the house. the days where their hearts are so open to learn and love. the days where they’re each others’ best friends, and ours. the days of curious george and paw patrol and peppa pig. the days of cute little feet and kissable tummies and the happiest giggles. these DAYS. oh, hoooow i love these days.

and sure, as a mom, it still IS really important to take care of yourself or else you can’t care for others. i’m not super good at this, but i’m trying to get back to reading a morning devotional, and maybe having a few minutes to myself at night to watch a show or just sit a while, knowing all my sweeties are cozy under one roof. also, i’m trying to remember to get into a podcast! trying. 😉 but regardless, i’ll cruise through these crazy little years fueled by coffee and snuggles, with the multitasking skills of a mother octopus, and then i’ll spend the rest of them recalling the days of bare tushies on the back porch as i apply the perfect topcoat to my nails without running the risk of anyone needing to be held.

so… this baby life? baby life with an actual squishy baby! baby life with someone tiny to hold in the middle of the night. baby life with the cutest noises and itty bitty laundry. baby life with adooooring older siblings who are the very best helpers. baby life with little voices and mixed up words. baby life with silly dances and sticky hands. oooh, baby life. one day not that far off it’ll be behind us. but for now? it’s the best.