all that to say… 30 is a fine, dandy, wonderful age! i really do think that. but for myself, i just was hoping i’d be in a better place to head into a new decade? and i don’t know. the last year has been hard. the last two years, really. i’ve felt more stress and anxiety than i’ve had in a while. more questions about life. more prayers said, which is probably the point. but also, more joy! it’s really easy for me to love and appreciate life. and nothing brings me joy like my people that i get to spend each and every day with. so i always think, what is there to complain about? life keeps going! life is good. and while i typically prefer to keep from saying things that aren’t on the perkier side, right now it feels kind of good to just admit that i think i’m disappointed that i don’t have my sh– together like i’d really wanted to. in a million ways, i just don’t.
i need to just go be barefoot in a field with wine and it’ll all come together again. 🙂
…also, i’m sitting here as uncaffeinated as a girl can get and it’s just flat. out. terrible! mostly because i just really enjoy my morning coffee ritual. however, i forgot coffee beans at the store sunday, then neglected to get any yesterday and just drove through starbucks in a state of emergency. i got all things pumpkin, including a PSL and do you know what i learned? well… i don’t like them anymore! not the fakey, syrupy kind, anyway. sooo… good thing i ordered a venti. 😉 but the pumpkin bread was delicious, as always! can’t go wrong there!
but even more than that, i love cookie dough larabars and could eat one with every meal and i don’t understand why they’re so amazing but… i love them.
sidenote: i might want to learn to do this kind of arm knitting? is this too ambitious? i am in love with the chunky knits!
anyway… are you stuck in a weird life place, too? no? congrats! 😉 but if you are… well, i’ll happily send a prayer your way! plus, solidarity is so in right now.
pps. 5 years ago ‘fessions. 🙂 some things never change! and somehow so much does.
I love the way you write – makes me laugh/ smile throughout your posts 🙂 I think it's fantastic she had a koozy on her legs/arms during your vet trip lol gotta love it!
oh, thank you so much! that really means a lot!! it definitely feels good when i get a chance to sit down and string some silly little thoughts together! 🙂
OMG, so much yes on this whole post. the anxiety and stress are real, and so is the joy. so many ups and downs. and i cannot get over how i'm 29 and feel like i have nothing together. i feel you! xoox
thanks for saying that, beauty!! and you are doing so awesome! life'll just getcha sometimes, i suppose. 🙂 at least we have the sweetest little faces to bring cheer to our days, right!
Bless you! I read all.the.time but never comment. Love, love your blog and I don't even know how I found it…but you are not alone, ever with all these anxieties, stress, emotions, etc etc…..I am a mom of two and a newish grandmom. (So I could be your mom) But so much of what you say is so true for many of us moms! You are doing fine and I hope the days leading up to your birthday are filled with peace and continued joy!! I always look forward to your new posts and all the wonderful pics!
oh, thank you thank you thank you for this sweet comment!! this is SO encouraging to me and i really appreciate you sharing these words!! and congrats on the promotion to grandparent. i hear it's the best!!!
So. Almost 30 huh? 30's are the worst. 😉
I kid I kid. Obviously. For some odd reason the age thing doesn't phase me. Every now and again I remember I'm not 17 but most of the time I maintain I haven't aged a day. And if my opinion matters, which I mean, no, but if it did I think you have the most ***t put together. You are the charmingly after all. Late night health googling and all. We have all been there. For sure.
And I feel like I need to amazon prime you some beans. Mylanta! Get this girl a coffee!!!
you are the best. 🙂 you haven't aged a day, i'm pretty sure! and thank you for your valued opinion! i always, always appreciate your words and wisdom!! and age totally shouldn't phase me. i'm ridiculous.
Charmings. Gah! Let's talk about how my phone doesn't even know what I want to say!!!
This post is fantastic. Definitely my favorites to read- I need to get back to writing things more like this!
thank you so much, girly!! writing always helps me work through my own thoughts, you know?!
This post is exactly what I needed today! Hang in there — you're doing a great job!
thank you so much for saying that!!! sending hugs!!
barefoot in a field with wine.. yes. I am there!! I probably feel more affected than ever by politics in our country having little people, but praying about it!! also you are still sooo young! I can say that since I'm turning 32 (already!!???) in a couple months 😉
yes let's all meet up barefoot in a field with wine (:
yes yes! and OH my, in a croatian field would be quite a dream from what i've seen of your heavenly photos!! and yes to the politics. what an awkward topic these days. and it's ironic that you say that, because it's started weighing on me so heavily the difference in perspective when you have children vs. when you are not in that mindset! their future is my everything! <3 ps. turning 32 and waiting on your 3rd little piece of perfection – that is the dream, girlfriend!!
I think you have your shit together! and in all the ways that could ever matter!!!
THANK YOU babe!! i think you are a wonderful, amazing human, sooo… that means a lot 🙂
Oh this post made me giggle 🙂 I think all moms can relate to these things! And while I too dreaded my thirties; they have become my favorite decade so far. I don't like PSLs anymore either! Wayyy too much pumpkin! Also let's discuss this odd house smell. We had one and it kept coming and going and after much googling figured out it was a light fixture! And it totally didn't smellll like it was something electrical.,, so strange! Ha
i always think it's ironic that PSLs actually have no pumpkin in them at all, because they are over the top, for sure! and i only asked for 1 pump of syrup! haha!! and yes. our odd house smells come from previous owners' issues that we've since resolved! always an experience being homeowners, yes?! sounds like your light fixture was totally weird!! you never know, huh!!