treat yo self

sunday afternoon, i took myself out on a little bit of a date. a self-date! it was the first time in two years, since the shimmering star of my heart was born, that i’d really had any kind of overwhelming desire to just have a couple of moments to do absolutely whatever i wanted with no one to object. and so! the little girl who turns into solid sparkles each time her daddy looks her way got some quality bonding time in with said daddy, while i took off to do a few things that a brittany would do…

like listen to music that’s maaaaybe not sung by elsa or anna… at a volume of my choosing… and shop at my leisure… and pop into starbucks to indulge in a tasty beverage with nothing in my arms but a wallet… and drive… and think… and just… be. brittany.

and you know, that quick little two year refresher, it was pretty lovely!

i felt a little guilty for thinking that, even, because it’s just really not my usual… but the different thing about having a two-year-old versus an infant, for me, is that though my baby girl and i are still totally attached at the hip and mind and soul [i mean, honestly, ha! she’s the best sidekick ever!], maddalena really didn’t miss me that afternoon. she’d already had her nap, and she is always more than happy to get to be with her daddy, who she doesn’t get nearly enough time with during the week… and that knowledge for me, ahh, it’s like a warm bath. it’s like 8 hours of sleep. it’s like a mug of tea on a cold night! because really, my heart belongs to my people over here… and i don’t cut myself much slack, and i really don’t require much “me time” at all, and i feel guilty over ev-er-y-thing, because that’s just how i am!

and it’s not that i wanted to go do anything alone. i don’t even like being alone! i hate it, actually! but every year, every age, every month seems to bring a new balance, and it can be a fun thing to discover… it keeps things moving, keeps things interesting. and so, on a sunny afternoon, this latest new balance gave me a little present.

on sunday, i did things that a brittany would do… at age 17 or age 27… in this kind of, “hey brittany, it’s brittany. you still there? yep, still here! okay, super! love ya babe!” kind of way… and hey! still here! still happy. still love shopping and starbucks and old third eye blind songs. still have a crush on steven bishop. 😉 still don’t like being alone!

and so, i say… on with the show! yay and yay. life is good.